By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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