Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You can't just leave with hair like that
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
