We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
