We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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