I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
