i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
