Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cannot find my penis.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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