Sry I called you an 8
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
