They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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