Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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