Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
