grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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