you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
