They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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