I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
