theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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