"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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