A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize