I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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