the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All the doctor said was why
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
