You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
