Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was like getting head from an anaconda
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
