I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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