State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i dont even know how to be here
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
