Dual....:-)
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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