I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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