I think im going to throw up on grandma
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
