Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
