we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
