shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
