Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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