ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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