I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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