i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
