do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were trust falling into bushes
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
