i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have aggressive nipples.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
