the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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