It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
