Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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