I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
