You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
