There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
