guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
