remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
