love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
