apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Mom said you looked used
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
