the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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