Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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