NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
