those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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