So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
