i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
