I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
