R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
