After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
