is your mom at the bar?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
